Our baby J is terrified of bugs. Flying bugs, specifically, are the most frightening…the smaller, the scarier. He is also scared of the dark, or an unlit room. Even if there is light coming in through the window, if the lights are off, he won’t set foot in the room.
Remember when little M used to be afraid? She was afraid of everything…bugs, all animals, slides, other kids, everything! But she grew older and braver, and more trusting. She grew to trust that we would keep her safe, and her fight-or-flight defenses started to lower.
Now, our girl is touching butterflies, and bugs, and petting animals and she is doing it like it’s her job. She still is a little wary sometimes, if a larger animal comes around, but she is no longer running for the hills if she sees a dog down the street.
Baby J will come around. He will learn to trust that we won’t take him to a park if the bugs there were truly a threat. He will learn that it is our job to keep him safe, and he will learn that he is safe with us and around us. Baby J is so brave in so many areas, but in many ways he is even more fearful than little M was. He is more nervous and more easily stressed than our little M was. He always seems a little bit tense and uncertain… maybe it is just his personality, and one of the ways he is different than his sister. Maybe they were both equally stressed out at this point in our family, but he just exhibits his stress in a more emotional way…
Either way, the end result is that when I see how fearful he is when a little gnat is buzzing around his head at the park, I realize how much we still need to work on trust, and reassure him of our love and our permanence. When I see how little M calmly waves a fly away, or brings a moth closer to her face to get a good look at it’s wings, or pets the neighbor’s dog, I realize how far she has come…
and I look forward to seeing baby J grow in confidence and trust, as he comes to the realization that we are forever, and we will always keep him safe.
It is great when you can look back and see that you (or your kids) got through one tough thing, and know that you'll get through another. I love your blog… Mackenzie has to be the funniest child alive, and Jackson is just too darn sweet. Good luck with the upcoming adoption!