Heard…

By Joanna Billigmeier | November 14, 2015 |

My hands are big! ~tiny P
I know, you are a little puffy today. ~me
I big puffy! My hands are marshmallows! ~tiny P

I have more water, please? ~ tiny P
Sure, go get your bottle! ~ me
I can’t. I just a little girl. ~ tiny P
You can…go get it! ~ me
I can’t. I the queen. ~ tiny P. In case you’re wondering, she did get the bottle, even though her being the queen was a valid point.

Can I have chocolate? ~ tiny P
No, not right now. ~ me
No?! I DON’T WANT YOU TO SAY NO! ~ tiny P

Trick or treating! ~ baby J, on Halloween

I want to be a guarder. ~ baby J
What’s a guarder? ~ me
He means someone who stands guard. Aren’t you glad you have me to interpret for you? ~ little M.

I just want to play boats all day! And eat. I want to play boats and eat. ~ baby J

Hump. ~ little M. Instead of humph. I kind of love it when she reads something and mispronounces it. Now we all say it like this. Ha.

Who that? ~ tiny P
That’s a picture of queen Elizabeth. She’s the queen of England. ~ little M
Oh! Just like me! I a queen, too! ~ tiny P

Will you take my hair tie out for me? ~ little M
Sure, turn around! ~ me
Thank you! I had a huge, big drama with my hair last night. ~ little M

Mommy, are you talking to Daddy about our Saturday plans? ~ little M
Yes, I will let you know what we decide. ~ me
And you will collaborate together? Just like normal parents do? ~ little M. Yes. Just like normal parents.

Sure, we can play ocean…I will be a colossal squid! ~little M
I will be a giant jellyfish. I am a nice jellyfish, but be careful, because my testicles can sting you. ~ baby J
Tentacles, J! Tentacles! ~ me
Yes! That’s what I said! ~ baby J. Ha. Testicles-tentacles…not the same thing.

May I have that brown marker after you’re done? ~ little M
Ummm, I think it’s black. ~ baby J
No, J, It’s definitely brown. ~ little M
It looks black to me. ~ baby J
Well, that’s ok, as long as you know in your heart that it is brown. ~ little M

Do you know what a tyrant is? ~ little M
I don’t know…~ tiny P
Well. You are a tyrant. ~ little M
No, I just a baby. ~ tiny P
Yes. I think it’s unusual for a baby to be a tyrant. But you are. ~ little M

Are you a girl or a boy? ~ little M

I a girl. ~ tiny P
How old are you? ~ little M
I two. Two years old. ~ tiny P
What’s your name? ~ little M
Queen. You call me queen Elsa. ~ tiny P
Is your name P? ~ little M
No. I all done with P. I be queen now. ~ tiny P

Did you dress up for Halloween? ~ Radiology tech
Yes. An owl. ~ tiny P
Whhooo was an owl? ~ Radiology tech, laughing at himself.
Me. The queen. ~ tiny P

Hi! Can I take a picture with you? Ryan Seacrest, at the hospital.
No, thank you! You not my friend! Tiny P, in a very loud, very clear (but very polite) voice.
Oh! Well, you win some, you lose some! Ryan Seacrest, to the crowd (and news cameras) around us.
Mommy? Can we go now? ~ tiny P. Yes, it was definitely time to go. Ha.

Remember, yesterday you were running with your socks on, and you fell and hurt your chin? Maybe you shouldn’t run… ~little M
Hmmm. Well, I will think about that. ~baby J

Are you mad, jiejie? ~ baby J
Yes, a little mad, but not furious. If I was furious, I would stomp the world and cause an earthquake. ~ little M

I am not scared of anything. Not the dark, not thunder, not a volcano, not sharks…AGHHH! A SPIDER! ~ baby J

Let’s go get some lunch! ~ me
Yay! Are you feeling voracious, mommy? Or just slightly ravenous? ~ little M

I forgot what I was going to tell you! ~ Little M
Ok…~ me
I forgot!…I wish we could go back to China and I could gather some Gingko nuts. ~ little M
What?? ~ me
Gingko nuts grow in China. And Gingko nuts are good memory boosters. ~ little M

Oh daddy! My fingers are trembling with excitement! I don’t know if I will be able to hold my donut! ~ little M, out for breakfast with the husband