This week I’ve put my precious ones in the “love chair” three times. What is a love chair? It’s a chair that is really too small for two people, but my babes have sat themselves, together, in that too-small chair until they could be friends. Once, after being in the love chair, little M told be that she only liked baby J, not loved him…this was said while she had her arm around his shoulder, and he had his body around her while stroking her cheek, so I was ok with it.
I get it. At least, I think I do… little M is fun to bother. She is a crazy OCD perfectionist, and she squeals at the slightest upset. I can totally see how that would be fun. She is also in her own little world a lot of the time, and baby J wants attention from her so, SO badly, he can hardly stand himself. When she gives him the attention he wants, all is well in my land.
But when she has had enough, he bothers her.
It seems to be something he just inherently knows to do. And gah…he does it so professionally. He leans in, close to her face, so she can’t see anything but him. When she tries to move around him, he moves with her, keeping his face in hers, so close, but not close enough that he is touching her.
And little M is done so fast. She will sometimes start to play with him…unless she doesn’t. Because if little M is over it, there will be no playing. She can go from zero to shrill in less than five seconds. And, unfortunately, even when little M is over it, baby J steps it up… because negative attention is still better than no attention at all, right? At least it seems to be, for baby J…he seems to thrive off of negative attention. It’s a problem. And it’s a big problem for little M, since baby J has decided that he wants all of her attention all of the time, no matter what.
It can escalate so quickly. Sometimes I let them work it out, and sometimes they can. Sometimes I am so proud of little M, using a calm firm voice, and using all her words. So proud. But sometimes that doesn’t happen. And when it doesn’t happen, anything goes, and anything goes fast. Sometimes by the time I get there, someone is on the floor. Or in tears. Or about to punch someone else in the throat. Or someone might have spit on their person (baby J can be a spitter).
And that is when they go to the love chair. Sometimes the love chair happens after time out, to give the guilty parties time to calm down and stop pushing/hitting/spitting/screaming/maiming.
It’s a magical place, the love chair…love happens there! And in minutes, sometimes even seconds, everyone is back to being friends, and happiness abounds.
For at least five minutes.