Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Best Birthday Ever...

Yesterday our baby turned three! Normally, I would have done a grand old birthday post, with all the things we love about our tiny P. Normally I would post pictures of her party, and her cake, and her presents. We celebrated a couple weekends ago, so we do have those pictures, but we will save them for now. These were her official three year old pictures, but they are not what she looks like now! If you follow the Paisley Page on Facebook, you know that we have been too busy to blog...

This year we have something amazing, and extra special to give thanks for. This year we won't be celebrating thanksgiving at home all together, but we are okay with that.

On Sunday, after we got ready for church, we got a phone call from our cardiologist asking how Paisley was doing. We chatted for a bit (I chatted for a bit), until she cut me off to tell me "there is a heart for Paisley. Do you want it?" 

Do we want it????

Of course we want it! This is completely and totally unexpected...tiny P has only been on the list for a little over two months. It is kind of unheard of for a kid who is status two to get a heart.

But God...

God knew that Paisley was failing. Her little heart was not going to keep up for much longer, and we could see her diminishing day by day.

Our baby was dying. But now she is alive! Her old heart was very large, gray, and scarred. Her new heart is perfect, pink, and healthy.

We are feeling so blessed, and sad, and joyous, and grief many emotions, all at the same time. We are feeling so much joy at the gift of hope our daughter has been given, but also our hearts ache at the thought that this gift was given at a VERY high price. Someone's healthy baby died tragically, and in a time of intense grief and pain, that mama, a mama just like me, chose to give. What a costly gift! One that we will be eternally grateful for, and humbled by forever...thank you could never be enough.

Tiny P went into surgery Sunday evening, and her transplant team worked through the night, for eleven and a half hours, to put her hero heart in. She loves her new heart...her lips, fingers, and toes are pink and warm for the first time ever! So far, with a few scary little glitches, she has done amazingly well. We will be in the hospital for a while, of course, and tiny P will have her first post transplant cath on the tenth. They will take a biopsy of her new heart to check for rejection.

I don't know that we will ever get over this shock, or if we will ever get to a point where we can look at our baby, and not well up with overwhelming joy, and gratitude. Adoption, especially adoption of a medically complex child can look so scary and high risk, and of course it is! But there is also something more beautiful...hope. This beautiful hope is bigger than everything scary, because we know where our hope comes from.

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
~Ezekiel 36:26

Sunday, November 22, 2015


Seek boldly, 
Journey courageously. 
Work diligently, 
Sacrifice valiantly. 
Suffer willingly, 
Persist relentlessly.
Share extravagantly, 
Serve compassionately.
Love fearlessly, 
Live intentionally. 
Give thanks unceasingly. 
~ Rebecca Cooper

Friday, November 20, 2015

The Big One...

Do you know that just five years ago, this girl didn't run, or even walk too far, because she was too sick, and her little heart was working too hard?

And this girl didn't talk.
She could hear, so she didn't talk.

This girl, our seven year old, is amazing. She is beautiful, and sweet, and smart. She amazes me every day.

This week we had a meeting with her teacher, various therapists, and her special ed coordinators.

They all talked about how amazing our little M is. They all talked about how far she has come, and they were all moved to tears when I told them her story, and they realized that she really has come SO FAR.

She is in second grade you know there was a time that I wasn't sure how she would even make it to kindergarten...but she did, and she was awesome at it. I worried about her so much. I wasn't sure if she would make friends, I wondered which school would be best for her, I wondered how far back her delays would set her.

But our tiny girl has worked and fought, and soaked up knowledge like a little sponge. She is not behind at all, and soon she won't need any therapies at all. 

As I sat in that meeting this week and listened to her therapists describe how she doesn't need them anymore, and her teachers tell me how she is so far ahead of grade level, and how she is loved by everyone and has many friends, and how she helps the other kids in her class who are behind... I was moved to tears.
These are all the things I imagined for my baby, and I wondered how she would get here. And now she is here. She is a miracle, and I get to watch the beautiful wonder that she is unfold.
Our little one, our tiny girl, has become our big one, and
We could never have imagined how far our girl would come in five years...

Sunday, November 15, 2015


With that half a heart and beautiful scar, you are amazing just the way you are! 
~Drena Campbell

Saturday, November 14, 2015


My hands are big! ~tiny P
I know, you are a little puffy today. ~me
I big puffy! My hands are marshmallows! ~tiny P

I have more water, please? ~ tiny P
Sure, go get your bottle! ~ me
I can't. I just a little girl. ~ tiny P
You can...go get it! ~ me
I can't. I the queen. ~ tiny P. In case you're wondering, she did get the bottle, even though her being the queen was a valid point.

Can I have chocolate? ~ tiny P
No, not right now. ~ me

Trick or treating! ~ baby J, on Halloween

I want to be a guarder. ~ baby J
What's a guarder? ~ me
He means someone who stands guard. Aren't you glad you have me to interpret for you? ~ little M.

I just want to play boats all day! And eat. I want to play boats and eat. ~ baby J

Hump. ~ little M. Instead of humph. I kind of love it when she reads something and mispronounces it. Now we all say it like this. Ha.

Who that? ~ tiny P
That's a picture of queen Elizabeth. She's the queen of England. ~ little M
Oh! Just like me! I a queen, too! ~ tiny P

Will you take my hair tie out for me? ~ little M
Sure, turn around! ~ me
Thank you! I had a huge, big drama with my hair last night. ~ little M

Mommy, are you talking to Daddy about our Saturday plans? ~ little M
Yes, I will let you know what we decide. ~ me
And you will collaborate together? Just like normal parents do? ~ little M. Yes. Just like normal parents.

Sure, we can play ocean...I will be a colossal squid! ~little M
I will be a giant jellyfish. I am a nice jellyfish, but be careful, because my testicles can sting you. ~ baby J
Tentacles, J! Tentacles! ~ me
Yes! That's what I said! ~ baby J. Ha. Testicles-tentacles...not the same thing.

May I have that brown marker after you're done? ~ little M
Ummm, I think it's black. ~ baby J
No, J, It's definitely brown. ~ little M
It looks black to me. ~ baby J
Well, that's ok, as long as you know in your heart that it is brown. ~ little M

Do you know what a tyrant is? ~ little M
I don't know...~ tiny P
Well. You are a tyrant. ~ little M
No, I just a baby. ~ tiny P
Yes. I think it's unusual for a baby to be a tyrant. But you are. ~ little M

Are you a girl or a boy? ~ little M
I a girl. ~ tiny P
How old are you? ~ little M
I two. Two years old. ~ tiny P
What's your name? ~ little M
Queen. You call me queen Elsa. ~ tiny P
Is your name P? ~ little M
No. I all done with P. I be queen now. ~ tiny P

Did you dress up for Halloween? ~ Radiology tech
Yes. An owl. ~ tiny P
Whhooo was an owl? ~ Radiology tech, laughing at himself.
Me. The queen. ~ tiny P

Hi! Can I take a picture with you? Ryan Seacrest, at the hospital.
No, thank you! You not my friend! Tiny P, in a very loud, very clear (but very polite) voice.
Oh! Well, you win some, you lose some! Ryan Seacrest, to the crowd (and news cameras) around us.
Mommy? Can we go now? ~ tiny P. Yes, it was definitely time to go. Ha.

Remember, yesterday you were running with your socks on, and you fell and hurt your chin? Maybe you shouldn't run... ~little M
Hmmm. Well, I will think about that. ~baby J

Are you mad, jiejie? ~ baby J
Yes, a little mad, but not furious. If I was furious, I would stomp the world and cause an earthquake. ~ little M

I am not scared of anything. Not the dark, not thunder, not a volcano, not sharks...AGHHH! A SPIDER! ~ baby J

Let's go get some lunch! ~ me
Yay! Are you feeling voracious, mommy? Or just slightly ravenous? ~ little M

I forgot what I was going to tell you! ~ Little M
Ok...~ me
I forgot!...I wish we could go back to China and I could gather some Gingko nuts. ~ little M
What?? ~ me
Gingko nuts grow in China. And Gingko nuts are good memory boosters. ~ little M

Oh daddy! My fingers are trembling with excitement! I don't know if I will be able to hold my donut! ~ little M, out for breakfast with the husband

Friday, November 13, 2015

Friday Phone Dump...

Self dressing fail... All day at school like this! When I asked him how he went to the bathroom with his zipper in the back, he said "I don't know, I just did. "

Cutest owl ever...

Sisters watching a show. Precious.

Mummy quesadilla. Halloween week has halloween dinners...

Crazy hair day at school. She was very proud to have her hair voted craziest for her class. Ha.

The baby got puffy. We took  pictures and emailed them to her cardiologist every day.

I love those cheeks...

Not so bad to wake up to this happy, puffy face in the morning!

In the which we (she) told Ryan Seacrest that he could not take a picture with her because "no thank you, you not my friend."


Thrilled with hospital life.

I love bath time in the hospital, and I love my baby in these hair washing caps.

Go put your animals in the sink...that's the same as brush your teeth and get ready for bed, right?