I worry. A lot.
I knew I would, but I didn’t realize how much being a mom would make me worry so much about such a little person.
This little person who is so very enamored with her tongue.
I worry about her development, about her happiness, and her well-being. But mostly, I worry about her health. I want her to be happy, and healthy, and I worry that I am missing something that will cause her health to decline. I worry that I may not be doing enough.
Next month little M is having tubes put in her ears. This doctor’s appointment was originally scheduled for her sedated hearing test, and they will still do that right after they put the tubes in. We will know the same day if little M needs hearing aids, or not.
We are hoping the tubes help enough that she doesn’t need the aids, but we are happy to get them, if that’s what she needs.
Little M hears right now at 50ish decibels. You and I hear at 20 decibels. At 20 decibels, we can hear leaf rustling in the wind, a cat’s meow, or a bird chirping. At 50 decibels we can hear a normal conversation. To little M, since her hearing begins at 50 decibels, a normal conversation sounds like rustling leaves. For her to hear normal conversation, it would need to be at 80 decibels. Poor little thing, no wonder she has to read lips, and can’t get her sounds to come out right!
She has done so amazingly well for not being able to hear, and we are so hopeful that she will be able to catch up one day, and not be delayed for always.
We are so proud of our little M, and I am hopeful that one day in the near future I will be able to ask my daughter what she is thinking and have her tell me.
Because I do so worry about her…