As an adoptive parent, it is easy to feel like we aren’t allowed to feel stressed or tired. We can’t feel sad.
After all, we chose this…
We chose to parent and love these kids.
We waited for these children, we prayed for these children, and we lost sleep over wanting these children.
Not only that… YOU waited with us, and YOU prayed for these kids for us.
I was feeling overwhelmed a few weeks ago…I often feel a bit overwhelmed at the hospital on Friday, and a nurse, someone who had never worked with us before, was asking me questions about baby J’s background, and his casting and his foot. I was answering her questions for a while before I realized that she wasn’t asking her questions in a medical capacity, she was just curious. I told her it was going to be a hard long Summer for us, and she replied “well, you asked for it, so you can’t complain!”
And then I was sorry I talked to her.
But it made me think…
I DID ask for this.
So what right do I have to be stressed out or feel sorry for my boy, or even myself? What right do I have to be sad, or overwhelmed, or frustrated, or worried?
I’m a mom…
I’m an adoptive mom, but that doesn’t make me less. Being an adoptive mom doesn’t make my being a mom less real.
I’m a mom to two beautiful little kiddos.
I am a mom to a beautiful little girl with some sensory issues.
I am a mom to a little girl who has a complex heart condition.
I am a mom to a little girl who is deaf.
I am a mom to a little girl who has more fears and worries than most adults.
I am a mom to a precious boy who is still learning who his family is, and doesn’t speak English.
I am a mom to a little boy who has unilateral club foot, and all the issues that go with not having that fixed immediately after birth.
I am a mom to a little boy with dermatolomania, who tears the skin off his hands when he is stressed, and has to wear mittens so he won’t tear his skin off. And poor thing is always stressed.
I am a mom to some little kids with some special needs.
But I am a mom.
And that means I get to feel and act like a mom.
I get to have bad days.
I get to worry about my babies.
I get to feel like I will never get through a week without a doctor’s appointment or specialist.
I get to wonder when my son will speak English.
I get to be stressed out about my daughter’s stress and worries.
I get to cry when my kids have a bad day.
I get to feel ALL the mom feelings.
I get to be sad when we have to stay at the hospital.
Because I am a mom.
And yes. I asked for this, for these kids. I would ask for it again, and again, and again.
I would chose this. I would wait, I would pray, and lose sleep wanting my kids all over again.
Because I am their mom.