I am not an extroverted person, and just once, I would like to go to the mall, and not have to talk to EVERY other shopper! Ah well, with little M, my tiny little extrovert, that will most likely never happen to me again. So I am learning to accept that.
I am also still learning how to answer questions and comments, while keeping in mind that my daughter is hearing and watching…
because at least one out of every ten people we talk to has a question or comment for me. About adoption, little M’s background, little M’s hearing aid, her missing ear, Chinese girls, etc…
The other week we were at Safeway in the check out lane, after our grocery shopping, and a man was waiting behind us. He was watching and smiling at little M, and after moving closer, he leaned in and said, “excuse me. Is she adopted?”
I replied, “she WAS adopted, yes.”
He said, “from China, huh?”
I smiled, gave a small nod, and turned away to pay attention to little M…
But the man wasn’t done. He told me that he and his wife had two sons who were also adopted.
He told me their ages, and about their personalities, and I continued with the smiling and nodding, paying for my groceries while trying to pay attention to little M.
Then he leaned in to get my attention, and said, “we were just really lucky to get our kids locally. I guess you weren’t as lucky, huh?”
And in my mind I pushed him down…
I pushed my precious, hearing daughter, who was watching me in her cart, away from him, and said, “we didn’t look locally, we wanted the daughter we have, and we couldn’t be luckier.”
I didn’t wait for a reply, turned my back to him, and pushed my precious, hearing daughter away from him.
And I felt luckier than ever to be her mom.
But why, WHY do people feel the need to say things like that?? It just makes me so mad…what are they thinking? Do they just not realize that the precious little one they are taking about can hear them, or are they just hateful?
Sometimes I feel a little overwhelmed with the thought that it is my job to help little M overcome that…to protect her, and foster a strong sense of self-confidence in her, even when she is hearing these sorts of comments.
It is my job to make her believe that we, not her, are lucky, and that she is the most precious thing we could have ever asked for.