Do you ever think about what you’re missing?
Maybe most people don’t, but I do. Not missing the way you feel when you’re not noticing something, but missing in the way you miss someone or something that has gone away…
Sometimes, you may not even know you’re missing something until it shows up.
Sometimes, you may meet a new friend, or get together with an old friend, and you realize that you were missing that closeness, and intimacy.
Maybe the thing you were missing comes in the form of something you’ve wanted, like the child you longed for, for so many years.
Sometimes, you hit an invisible milestone, something you didn’t even know you should be missing. One day, you get a spontaneous hug, and a kiss, without asking for it, or telling your child to hug you, and you realize…you missed that.
Or, your child calls you “mommy,” in a way that you can see that they actually recognize that you ARE mommy, and that is not just your name, and you are hit with the realization that you were missing and waiting for that.
Every little milestone gets me all excited. Things we may have taken for granted with a biological child, like attachment, love, and security, will never be taken for granted with little M. We cherish every little thing, no matter how small it seems, because we realize that our little girl came from a rough beginning, and NOTHING is insignificant. We are blessed with every sign of trust we see, every time she calls out to mommy or daddy, every time she spontaneously hugs us.
I know we will never take anything for granted with this little girl, and we will rejoice with every new word she learns to speak, and every new milestone, no matter how small. Because we are realizing that all these small little milestones we were missing are leading up to the bigger milestones we were waiting and hoping for.
And one day, hopefully one day soon, I am going to sit down with my daughter, and ask her what her favorite part of the day was, and she is going to be able to tell me.
And I can’t wait for that day!