Heard…

Don’t glute. When you yell like that, it’s gluting, and no one will want to play with you if you glute. ~ little M

Oooh, my liver is sore from doing so much exercise! ~ little M, after playing tag.
Oh, your side hurts? ~ me
Yes, I believe this is the exact location of my liver. ~ little M, pointing at her stomach.

Sometimes going to bed is a really big lot of work. ~ baby J

How do you say Jaguar in Spanish? ~ tiny P
Umm, I do not know… ~ baby J
Why? Because you only speak Languish? ~ tiny P. English, Languish. Whatev.

Umm, P? M is talking to you. ~ baby J, while little M was trying to explain something…
Oh, I know. Sometimes I ignore her when she’s boring. ~ tiny P.

Mommy? You are a wicked good reader. ~ tiny P
What? Wicked? ~ me
It means very very good. You are very good at reading. ~ tiny P. I am. It’s true.

Those Star Wars guys we saw at the hospital? They were bad guys? ~ tiny P
Umm, yes? Except r2d2. ~ me
Well. They were very nice to me. I think I will bring them a Christmas present…because Santa doesn’t go to the death star, you know. ~ tiny P

I might not obey you today. Daddy’s not here, so there’s nothing you can do, right? ~ tiny P. Ummm?

Are you going to do something with yourself? Or just sit there all day? ~ tiny P
Umm, I just sat down with my coffee? ~ me
Hmmm. O-kayyy. ~ tiny P

Did daddy already leave? ~ little M
Yes, I watched him drive away. That’s why his car is gone. Now I miss his little face. ~ tiny P

Daddy, will you sit by me? ~ tiny P, at dinner
Sure! ~ the husband
Yay! Then I will have all of your attention! ~ tiny P

Mommy, I wish I had a big butt like you! Your’s is perfect! ~ tiny P
Umm…thank you? ~ me

I just want everyone to gather around and watch me dance!  ~ tiny P, dancing to the music at the hair salon.
Well, people are working. ~ me
This is important! I am cute and perfect! ~ tiny P. At least she has confidence?

Can you see the sparkles in this mirror? ~ tiny P
No, I see me. ~ baby J
Hmm, a second ago, this was a magic mirror. ~ tiny P. What?

Look at that huge truck full of wood! I wish I could have a truck exactly like that full of watermelon. ~ baby J

You’re touching me so much… ~ baby J
I know, it’s because I love you. ~ tiny P
I love you too, but we don’t have to touch all the time. ~ baby J

Everyone is touching me too much, and my brain feels hot! ~ baby J

Are we in a commercial zone right now? It doesn’t look very residential. ~ little M

M, you have whip cream on your fore chin! ~ tiny P
My what? ~ little M
Your FORE-chin. It’s not on your forehead, it’s on your forechin. ~ tiny P
Ohh, it’s just called a chin, not a forechin. ~ little M
Ugh, do you want me to just lick it off? ~ tiny P

Do you know how to play crazy eight? ~ little M
No, I don’t. ~ Uncle J
Yeah, me either. ~ little M

Oh no! Mommy, this is loose! ~ tiny P, pulling on her panda purse, which has ears.
Well, stop pulling on it, then. ~ little M
You do you. I’m fine here. ~ tiny P.

One thing I am thankful for is hair. So I don’t look like an old man. ~ tiny P

That boy over there looks like my friend M from school, because he has a fat head and spiky hair. ~ tiny P

Can I do some numming? Before bed? ~ tiny P
Some what? ~ me
Numming! You sing a song to me, and I will num along. ~ tiny P. Oh. Numming. Of course, haha.

We have a new center at school! It’s dramatic play! ~ tiny P
Oh! What do you do there? ~ me
Umm, we play dramatically? Why are you asking me this? ~ tiny P. Duh.