Friday, March 4, 2011

Scars...

Little M has a little round scar right next to her eye, and she has a little bullseye looking scar on one of her upper arms. She also has a little cluster of scars on the back of her neck, which are now hidden by her hair. This little cluster was fairly fresh when we got her, and was one of the first things we noticed when we gave her a bath for the first time. When we asked the orphanage about it, they said it was a heat rash.

When we got to Guangzhou and met all the other adoptive families, everyone we talked to said that when they asked about any scars or skin issue, they were all told that it was a heat rash.
Maybe it is a heat rash...little M does sweat quite a bit.
Maybe it's not...we will never know. The little scars on her arm and next to her eye are not heat rash, and no one knew how she got them.




That makes me sad. Did she fall down? Was she bleeding? Was she sad or scared, and did anyone comfort her?
Seeing these little scars makes me wonder...about other scars. Does little M have scars on the inside, ones no one can see? Are they scars that would be hardly visible, and are nearly healed, or are they still fresh and raw? Are the scars inside healing? Are her needs being met?

Out little M has a smile that lights up room, and is cheerful and friendly, but I wonder if she is hiding the pain of fresh scars.
I will probably never know, at least not until little M has the language skills to talk about her feelings, and maybe not even then.


But it does make me wonder, seeing these scars on my little girl...

6 comments:

Kim K. said...

I understand. I truly do. Josie's disposable camera from the orphanage showed some wicked head injuries before we got her. Aside from her heart/hand surgery scars, she has strange scars on her body that just can't be explained. As much as it breaks my heart, seeing smiles and laughter helps. Hugs to you BOTH!

Michal said...

I too, understand.
When we met Ev she had horrendous scarring on her little heinie - from rampant untreated diaper rash. Those scars faded within her first year home.
We are left with a more troubling scar however.
She has a tiny scar on her upper arm. It's perfectly horizontal and it's a clean line with what looks like tiny uneven stitch marks through it. I have heard that birth mothers sometimes give deliberate scars, small ones in particular areas....It makes me wonder. I never even asked about it in China because I knew that I would never get an answer- not really.

wendi said...

My daughter also has the bulls-eye on her upper arm and I have seen others. I have asked about it and I was told it is from the small pox shot which is done with a large needle.
It is really sad I know, we will never know what these girls went through. Through prayer and unconditional love they can heal.

Grace said...

oh goodness...this breaks my heart! it's so sad to think about all that we missed and all that we weren't able to prevent. but i agree with kim...seeing the smiles and hearing the laughter helps me live in the now and appreciate each and every moment we have now.

Jan said...

Our Jillian too has a scar on her upper arm. Looks almost like a vaccination scar.

Your Little M is absolutely adorable!!! Loving all her smiles too!! And you're right her smile sure can light up a room!!!

Luciana said...

Hi! I'm reading your old posts and wanted to answer this one. I'm sure that with three China babies now, you know. Those scars on the arms are from BCG vaccinations. I have it (born in Brazil) and many countries still give them. I hope all the mommies who left comments here already know why their sweeties have these.
Blessings, your children are stunning.