Thursday, December 9, 2010

Being Sad...

Little M has had a rough couple weeks.
She is so strong, and so resilient that sometimes it's easy to forget that there must be so much going on inside. Huge feelings that can be kept hidden behind a beautiful smile.
But lately, those feeling have been coming out. It is so healthy, and we are so glad to see her let down her guard enough to trust us with her grief and sadness. It is also hard. We hate to see our little girl sad, and we often feel helpless in the face of her grief.
We know that children her age are sometimes sad about things like having to go to bed, or not getting another cookie...this is different. This is deep and wrenching. It goes way beyond just being sad.
I have never seen such deep grief come out of another person adult or child, in my life, and it is especially heartbreaking to watch such grief in such a little person.
What brought this on? Why did this happen, seemingly, so suddenly?
Maybe is is just part of the natural progression of things...
I do know that many things can trigger grief and sadness, and can even bring on a regression. Kelly, at Gazing Upward posted this list on her blog:

*A change in routine
*Overstimulation
*Separation from parents
*New activities or experiences
*Stressful experiences such as a doctor or hospital visit, or meeting new people
With Thanksgiving, and the holiday season, Little M has had almost all of these triggers occur in her life, so we are not sure which one brought this on, or if all of them combined were too much. I am positive little M has no idea what triggered these feelings, I am sure she is not even conscious of the effect these experiences had on her, since she genuinely enjoyed many of them.
For now, all we can do is hold our little girl when she is sad, laugh with her when she is happy, and pray that the void she feels will soon be filled with love and joy, and the grief that creeps in on her will be swept away.

3 comments:

Kim K. said...

Please know that you can always talk to me about grief and sadness. Our first 10 months home with Josie were a whirlwind of emotions and medical procedures. Having adoptive friends who had been through it, helped validate my feelings. Thinking of you and your sweet little girl.

michelle said...

We noticed that during the holidays, Lexie was having a hard time. She was only 9 months, but being at family gatherings where everyone wants to carry the baby was a bit overwhelming for her and I think it made her feel like she was being taken away from us. At night she would wake up screaming. Even now, when we go to places that she knows there will be a lot of people, she gets anxious and will start crying.

Our daughter is only 21 months, but we know that she still has many memories that we can't even begin to understand since she can't communicate it to us. We just hold her and love her and let her know that we're mommy and daddy and will always be there for her.

Jen said...

Oh sweet Mackenzie! If you only knew what joy lay before you in this wonderful family! Sweet sweet little girl, we are praying for you and your family daily, that the peace of Christ would reign and that your heart will be completely healed - both physically and emotionally. We love you all!