Sunday, December 13, 2009

Resting In Peace

I often struggle to find peace. I long for it. I want to rest in it, and bask in it, but it seems so illusive. I want to have complete faith and trust in God, knowing that He will work all things together for my good, but the peace can be so illusive.

I remember reading the story of Brazil's Archbishop Dom Helder Camara, who was speaking in 1999 at a crowded church in Berkeley, California. He was asked by someone in the crowd, "After facing death squads, would-be assassins, violent government opposition, and even hostile forces within your own church, who do you consider your most difficult opponent?"

Dom Helder didn't say a word, but pointed his hand into the air, then slowly arched it around, until it turned on himself, his finger pointing at his heart. "I am my own worst enemy," he said, "my most difficult adversary. Here I have the greatest struggle for peace."

Am I destined to forever struggle with myself for peace? Probably. I know that, for myself, my heart, my own traitorous heart, can be an emotional yo-yo, full of confidence and trust one moment, and fearful and disbelieving the next moment, when I truly long to just be content.

Does anyone else struggle with this? Ever?